(Originally posted on Facebook; reposted with permission.)
I would have never ever imagined myself saying this, but: I am grateful that my dearest father passed in 2020, and he isn’t here to witness how his birth country, Russia, is outrageously attacking the place he called his motherland, Ukraine.
I would have never ever imagined myself saying this, but: I am grateful that my beloved granny passed in December 2021. This loss is still so fresh and still hurting. But she is in the other, better world now. She survived the Nazi occupation in Kyiv during the WWII, and this war again, may have killed her.
My mother, me, and our cat are in Kyiv. Yesterday, which already seems like a week ago, I took my documents, money, a few things and photos, and a pen drive with all my work for the last 12 years and came to my mom’s place. I’ve sent the manuscript of my book to my dear friend just in case. To preserve.
My mother, me and the cat we’ve inherited from my granny spent last night in an underground car park nearby. We have been frozen there. But safe. Many people were there, with children and pets. At 3 a.m. when another wave of Russian bombing got started, we heard it so close. Poor cat was shaking. The dogs were screaming, and kids crying. But! The men were so brave, keeping themselves and calming women and kids. They were staying near the entrance to the car park, together as a chain, ready to face anything, even without any armaments.
We went home at 7 a.m. Tried to sleep, but didn’t succeed. I went for a walk nearby, and it was such a contrasting experience to see that blue pre-spring sky, sun there high and almost warm, listening to the birds singing and air alert sirens simultaneously. First green grass. Explosions somewhere to the north. Men staying near the district administration, calm and strict, saying that they will protect their home. From Russians. That was the first moment during those mad days when I felt tears in my eyes.
We will survive. I pray and hope for that.
I am overwhelmingly grateful for all those friends and colleagues writing me from all over the world, including those brave friends in Russia, who go out and protest against this war. My heart is melting because of the greatest support ever from Poland and Lithuania. Every person proposes to give us a shelter and host us, with the cat. That warms my heart. So good to know that there are you, who care. Perhaps, there will be a time again when we would be able again to talk about books read, and fieldwork conducted.
Now we stay in Kyiv. My mother doesn’t want to leave the city categorically, and I am with her.
Thank you for being for us. For helping us. For your prayers and empathy.
I have always been convinced that Love will save every person, and the world. My life started because of love, I live for love and from love.
Sending my love for you.