I am writing answers to these questions after 22 days of Russia’s military aggression against Ukraine. Kharkiv is confident in its defense.
The city is constantly being attacked by rockets and fighters – there is artillery shelling. The main attacks are against ordinary houses and schools, markets, shops and churches. All my places were destroyed. My favorite streets are gone, the places I had coffee, met my friends, and read are almost gone.
Kharkiv has become an outpost, the first line of defense from the east, which allows us to keep the situation under control. Mobilization of local authorities, territorial defense and volunteers took place with incredible speed. Kharkiv was constantly under scrutiny because of the large Russian-speaking population and sympathy for pro-Russian parties in the past (until 2014).
Even under constant shelling, all infrastructure, local authorities, public services, and volunteer organizations continue to operate, and now no one has any doubts about the patriotism of everyone.
For the first couple of hours of the war it was just scary, I was really hoping that there was someone close to me online, someone I could write to. And then my brain started to work – what to do, what to put in my bag, where to hide (my 13th floor on the outskirts of the city was very unsafe).
After I started to relax, when I was already out of town, there came apathy and fear that something could happen at any second. Since the 24th, I sleep in ordinary clothes, in which I used to go outside. And in general I sleep a lot. It became difficult to communicate with people. I want to support friends somehow, but there are no forces and emotions for this – I have to save them up beforehand.
I am feeling helpless because I have lost my home for the second time. The first time was in 2014 and the second was in 2022. And also I feel pride – pride in what kind of people surround me, what we are capable of.
I will always remember this moment when at 5:05am I sat down on the bed and saw the glow of explosions and smoke from fires far away. I will remember the feeling of fear that war has begun.
During the bombardment, one day I tried to get out of the city, but then the air attack started, and a woman started banging on the windows and calling me into the basement to take cover. I’ll remember her face and that kindness.
I will remember the moment of farewell to a friend at the train station and the way we hugged each other – I didn’t know if I’d get a chance to see him again.
I want people in the West to avoid making people in Russia who just now stood up against the terrorist regime heroes. Never forget that all the time since 2014 they have all been silent. Everyone had their reasons and I have no right to condemn them. But the heroes are the people of Mariupol, the rescuers of Kharkiv, the doctors on the front line. The heroes are every child sitting in basements right now. I’m afraid the media will forget about them.
First of all, I want to say thank you to Western governments and media. Because my country, my friends, are in danger, I will always feel that any reaction is not enough, because we are under attack. But I am very grateful to all the volunteers, journalists and politicians.
We need a closed sky and a stronger reaction. I would like the media as well as politicians to understand that this regime is not going to stop in Ukraine, but will want to take more territory, just not immediately, but when everything calms down (as it was before with Moldova and Georgia). There is always the risk of nuclear blackmail, and it is not just Ukraine’s problem. I think it is time to review the existing security assurances, agreements, and arrangements of international organizations. The political system no longer works as it should.
I would like the media not to be shy in rhetoric. Every day about 5 children die in Ukraine, and some of them have not yet learned to speak in order to defend their rights.